Bad Day
9:30 AM.
My mom’s phone rings. It’s from the motherland Korea. Bad news.
Her brother passed away. No one knows why. He was a heavy drinker with emotional issues. Could be health related, could be a suicide. No one knows.
My mom starts crying. Endlessly. She hasn’t even seen him over 10 years.
Not starting out a good day.
I am not a happy camper. But she and I made plans to visit this place and do some charity work. So we stick to the plan.
Good Day
The story starts out from about a week ago. I was having a shitty day. Then I heard this quote, “no one ever went broke by giving”.
Being an entrepreneur and constantly having ups and downs, i thought to myself “heck, i want to do something good. and expect NOTHING in return”.
I was poking around on the web to see what I can give money to but most of them sounded dumb.
Some places you give $50, and they spend $100+ to send you junk mail when they want more money from you. Made no sense.
Some of them were down right stupid. No offense, but if you live in US and are starving, that means
- You live in a CAVE and have never heard of food stamp/gov’t assistance.. or god forbid, McDonalds (before you judge me on this, answer this – If you were TRULY starving, do you think you’d care about high fat content of Big Mac? If you do, please, jump off a bridge. Try not to go splat so we don’t waste tax money dollars on cleaning up stupid people.)
- You eat too much and your stomach is WAY TOO freakin’ large and your “starvation” is really more like a hunger issue, in which case, you need exercise, not more food.
A week ago, I had a HUGE freaking meal for less than $3 bucks. Not the unhealthy McDonalds crap either. Healthy salad with good protein.
People who are bitching and complaining about McDonalds and other fast food joints really need to understand that these companies are doing us a FAVOR.
- Try living in a 3rd world country for a year a month where cost of food is about 20-50% of their annual FREAKIN’ income.
- No one at these fast food places FORCED you to buy anything. No one FORCED you to go there.. no one FORCED you to freakin’ supersize.. no one FORCED you to buy a 1200 calorie big mac meal instead of a SALAD. You ALWAYS have a choice. If you don’t exercise your FREEDOM to choose, then stop bitchin’ about others’ freedom to sell burgers.
Anyway, I digress.
I wanted to help people that were TRULY in need.
Not just low income in need of financial assistance, I’m talking about people you ONLY read about, but never actually see.
I remember donating money to this place that my mom recommended: Kkottongnae (which in english means “Flower Village”). It’s basically a homeless shelter that housed and fed those in need. They had US branches in NJ, GA, and a couple of other places.
My mom said, “why don’t you donate there? they need stuff all the time, especially food.”
At first, I thought… eh, i ‘ll just donate money. Easier to send in an anonymous check.. but i thought, nah, i actually wanna see who I’m gonna help. Maybe even see them SMILE.
Besides, money seemed so impersonal. They were gonna buy food with it, so instead, i bought a ton of food.
By the way, when I was at the supermarket, the lady at the register asked
Her: Do you own a restaurant?
Me: No.
Her: Are you having a party?
Me: No
Her: Do you have a big family?
At this point, I just wanted to say “shit, are you the mother f’ing CIA? What’s with the 21 questions?”
But, I figured I’m doing charity work, so I might as well FORCE a smile on my face when I do it even if these people were annoying me.
Me: No. This is for donation. <fake smile>
Then she looked at me funny. I guess the concept of helping others is foreign to most people.
Anyway, we take the food to this place… now… this place is something else.
First thing you notice, that it’s in Orange, NJ. It’s a place you go if you … get LOST and end up in the hood. It’s a dumpy place. Empty lots, houses with barred windows, check cashing places RIGHT next to liquor stores, etc etc.
I said “what kind of a shitty place is this place is in?”
My mom, the wise woman that she is, replied “Do you think Jesus, if he were alive today, would be helping people in streets of Beverly Hills in LA or 5th Avenue in NYC?”
Good point.
When we get there, the nun (that my mom communicates with) came out to greet us. She was so happy to see us and this carload of food we just dumped into her fridge. Apparently, my mom is a “benefactor” at this place – a couple of years of donation and charity work despite her busy schedule.
The nun was so smiley at one point that my mom asked her to stop smiling so big so that her jaw wouldn’t come off. (I know, makes no sense in English because i’m translating a Korean expression.)
When you enter the house, the first thing you notice is that it’s ADA (American Disabilities Act)-compliant, i.e. it has ramp and railings EVERYWHERE. And it’s old. If Julie Cleaver from “Leave it to Beaver”, she’d say:
There was an old fridge outside that they used as storage, a mini-farm that they were using to grow food, a yard that they used as outside sanctuary, some kind of old furniture that they were using to hang laundry, etc etc. It was almost sad, but very picturesque.
But the fact and matter is, they were doing whatever they can with whatever they had. Amazing.
During the prayer before the meal, she said something along the lines of “thank you God for the blessing… thank you for bringing Agatha (my mom’s baptism name) and Thomas (mine)… thank you for answering our prayer.”
I was like “woah.. i answered your prayer? lady, all I did was go to supermarket and deliver food to you. i didn’t save anyone or anything like that”. I felt kinda overwhelmed to hear those words. But good at the same time, of course. 
After the meal, she showed us around. There were not too many people there. Not a lot but they were old, incapacitated folks with no family.
This is what you’d call a shelter for the society’s TRUE bottom. Even though their website says “homeless”, the actual people that go there are WORSE than “average homeless” (if there is such a thing) that people are used to seeing in US. They’re usually OLD and sick, a lot of them living with some kind of disabling kinds of conditions like diabetes, heart conditions, alcohol/drug addiction, etc.
A lot of them are usually old, uneducated, and rather weak. If you think you are in bad position in life, you people need to get a reality check by visiting these types of people.
They are the “forgotten” marginalized part of the society that people will NEVER really see.
Far from the glitters of the city.. far from the clean streets of the suburbs.. and even FARTHER from the welcoming arms of any blood related family (if there are any left).
This is how the Flower Village started:
Father Oh Woong Jin
Having firmly decided to dedicate his life to the poor, Fr. Oh was ordained to the Catholic priesthood on 3 rd May, 1976
His initial appointment as a priest was to be in charge of Moogeuk parish in Geumwang Eup, Eumseong Gun, Chungcheongbuk-do.
One day he decided to follow a beggar, who in fact was Mr. Choi Gwi Dong, who was passing the parish church. He discovered that the beggar was feeding other weak beggars in their sordid hut in Mt. Yong-dam, with the food that he had been begging for during the day.
Fr. Oh could not sleep that night but stayed awake realizing in the midst of his prayers that “It is a gift of God’s grace if one only has enough strength to beg for food.”
The next day, Fr Oh purchased some bags of cement with all the money he had in his pocket, 1300 Korean Won, and started building a house called “House of Love” which had five rooms, with five kitchens.
Eighteen of the beggars who lived under a bridge over Moogeuk river were eventually welcomed and came to live in the newly-built house in 1976.
This is amazing. A homeless man.. not the pope, not some religious leader, not some kind of religious event… but a HOMELESS man with a heart to help others was what inspired the giant within the priest.
This organization now feeds and houses over 10,000 people worldwide. The biggest one, of course, is in Korea but their US operations are expanding slowly but surely.
The one I visited with my mom, in Orange, NJ, is a small house; old but serves the needs of the organization quite well. They, like most non profit organizations, have plenty of financial needs and worries.
But that’s not what I was focused on.. I was focused on the people, like this nun (sorry for no-name… it’s a korean thing to refer to these “higher position” people by their title, so I didn’t bother asking for her name).
Her attitude of giving, not money, but the most important thing.. TIME and her LIFE… and of selfless service to mankind was just amazing. And she NEVER mentioned any of the people that were staying there as “patient”. She always referred to them as “guests”.
Once during the meal, this nun actually lightly slapped this old white guy who fell asleep during his snack time. I was kinda startled because it seemed so… rude.
But she told me afterwards that she does that time to time to her older (like 80+ years) guests because she wanted to make sure that
- they don’t fall off the chair (the ones without arm support)
- they were still breathing
I don’t know if that was rude, but I laughed. If it is, OH WELL. God, too, has a sense of humor I bet.
I guess “they are still breathing” is better way to say it than “they are still alive” (something I would’ve said).
There are no words to express the awe I felt at this humble place in Orange, NJ. The amazing nun lady that gives her life to God and to the needy.. and the UNPAID volunteer support staff that cook & clean, and fix things around the house so those in need might have a clean, warm place to stay and KEEP their dignity and explore their faith (if they choose).
On top of that, I mentioned how my mom’s brother had passed, and the nun takes out time to do private prayer session with my mom. I was there, but I was more like an observer.
Of course, I’ve never seen my mom cry like that before. It breaks my heart watching her in pain. I wish I could bring her brother back to life. I don’t remember him at all, I can’t feel what she feels.
—-
On our drive back, my mom fell asleep. Couldn’t help but wonder how life could be mixed with such blessings and sometimes really really shitty days.
As I am finishing this blog post, I am about to head out to drive her to the airport.
Good day? yeap. Bad day? yeap.
But overall, good day.
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Sorry to hear about your uncle, man.
Al